You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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