is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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