Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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