Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
