i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize