We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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