I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
