god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
