I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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