mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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