i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
