So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
