And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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