is your mom at the bar?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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