I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Houston, we have a squirter
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
