why didn't you poke me back
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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