Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
