I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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