yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
