ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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