Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
