I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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