guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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