I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
