Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
