Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize