Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
