Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
