Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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