This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
