toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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