she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
