i barfeds in our rink
its not stalking. its research.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize