im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
