The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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