I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
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