I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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