I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
