found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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