question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
