This is not my ceiling
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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