Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
