I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
