uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
