just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
