Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Blood and glitter go together right?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize