Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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