escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
