she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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