1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Four minutes until I can fart!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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