Swine flu is the new snow day.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
