guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
