if you like me you must not know who I am
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
