It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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