...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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