One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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