the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
