So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize