It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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