I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
