; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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