in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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