LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
