Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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