The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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