Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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