Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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