Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
